The list of relation(situation)ships that I’ve had fall apart in the morning continues to stacks dauntingly higher. Some people are not morning people, (I get it, I’m not up early unless I have to be), but it seems to go beyond any tiredness.
I really do think morning sex is part of the root of this problem. Sex seems to need aftercare for me, a healthy post resolution wind down, reassurance (especially if the climax was unfulfilling), etc.. Sometimes there’s even a second round when things don’t have to be rushed (i.e. not mornings), or doing something else within the first session. It seems that without the aftercare there is anguish, in my experience.
I argue a lot, and everyone should at least occasionally, but there’s no time to calm everyone down so a normal argument turns into a storm out that sometimes includes yelling. One of the people I had this happen with was an abuse survivor, so I can see how yelling could be disportionately troubling or traumatic, and someone else I had this happen with had their kid staying in the next room.
When it’s not a workday morning, I’ve had arguments extend out to where eating some food could have held things at bay. The whole day would sometimes be ruined if not much more. Once people dug into their stance, they don’t want say something so simple could have kept them much more understanding.
Sometimes positivity can set people into a bad mood even if morning sex was not involved. I asked one partner “what were they looking forward to most in the day,” and I rejected “going back to sleep tonight,” as a good response. A few minutes later, I’m told not to do this positivity thing and that in fact my help in general is not welcomed.
In my last relationship, after a few of these morning incidents, I felt like I was being treated like a beast of positivity. The snooze button wasn’t utilized much and the footsteps softer, because God forbid I am awoken into a good mood and want to share! The morning mismarry bubble must not be disturbed it seems.
I love sleepovers, I really don’t want have to avoid them,
Wish me luck, y’all.